At last.... my first blog post..... its been a while coming!

This first blog-post has been a conundrum to me. For someone who always has plenty to say and is currently trying her best to learn the art of listening more than she speaks, (and shitting-tins that is hard for me) you would think that I would have jumped at the chance to sit and write down my thoughts!

Not so...... the pressure weighed upon me heavily - perhaps that pressure was the problem? Perhaps my painting was draining all my creative juices, leaving nothing to spare for the purpose of starting this blog?

The truth, I suspect is - none of the above.

Fear.

We all know about fear, it has haunted even the most courageous people that ever existed.

What had I to fear?

Was it my nagging doubt that plain old me really has no right to assume that anyone would want to read my rambling cogitations?

Was it that my words would bore the living shit out of all those who read them?

Was it that I am full of crap and actually cant write to save my ample backside?

Perhaps it was all of the above?

Anyway - I came to the glorious conclusion that it was time to say 'Fuck it' and therefore - if you are currently already fast asleep or have moved on to a YouTube video of the worlds longest burp or something equally fascinating, informative and downright inspiring, then...... good for you and sleep well (and I mean that whether you are actually in the act of sleep or just watching said video).

Perhaps the real reason I was utterly at a loss for writing inspiration was that I was "in a rut", the best way to describe a rut is a phrase that most of us (in our deluded state of fearful consciousness) see as a positive statement, a warm cosy blanket if you will, I was in my comfort zone.

So....if that zone was so damn comfortable then why was I so uninspired? In fact - let me be more honest and direct than that - not only was I uninspired, I was basically dead from the neck up, my body performing all its daily responsibilities and pretending to be alive while my mind was not only in reversal but bordering on rigor mortis!

Neale Donald Walsch - Author, gloriously weird weirdo and World class champ at giving his comfort zone its marching orders; says that "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone". I have come to the conclusion that he makes an excellent point. So........... I stand at a junction in my life - about to take on challenges for which I am only ready in my mind. The normal modus operandii that we have learned from life and society and school and church and family is to be fully prepared, financially, physically and general fit-in-the-boxally before you embark on new plans or journeys. While this attitude certainly holds some merit it can also tend to be a damn fine excuse to be sucked in to the intoxicating culture of do-fuckall-ness! This is a dangerous and sneaky one that creeps up on you and before you know it you have become the Grand Master or High Priestess of do-fuckall-ness and nobody wants that right? Right?............ If you hesitated, even for a moment over that question - then may I, with great love and respect (of course), suggest some serious self analysis.

My greatest passion is my family - but all the love, dedication and adoration that I can shower upon them does not bring in the bucks required to feed, educate and take care of them. So lets take a look at my other passions....... those being primarily painting and writing. I have, from time to time, made a reasonably successful career out of them. How exceedingly boring is that? Reasonably successful...........Eeeeeoooooogh!

So - we come back to giving the ole comfort zone the heave-ho and making plans for which I am only ready in my mind.

If everything that ever existed started as a thought (and it did) then it all comes down to imagination.

WTF is this weird woman talking about? I hear you ask but hang in there with me if you can bear it.

William Arthur Ward said "If you can imagine it, you can achieve it" and those words for me are electric!

Inspired by recent visits to the Eastern Cape in South Africa, I can imagine a series of glorious big paintings all inspired by the wonderful coastline and the Xhosa people (especially the sassy women ,who rock their generous curves with fabulous attitude). I can imagine putting together a series of paintings that exceed the standard and vibrance and skill of anything I have painted before. So...... here goes, here goes a period of inspiration, self discipline and inspired work.

Inspired thanks to recent self imposed goals and dreams that I have committed to that have certainly pushed me beyond my comfort zone....... Here goes